Sunday, December 5, 2010

How To Have Better Sex Tonight

Sex is usually pretty free and easy in the beginning of a relationship. And for most, it’s great! But like anything, if you don’t nurture your sex life it looses its spark and gets old quick.

Most couples that don’t communicate about sex end up stuck in the same old rut year in and year out. One of my jobs as a relationship counselor and coach is to help couples resolve their sexual issues and begin to have loving, passionate sex again. The key is always communication. After all, sex is not a one way street unless you are having it by yourself.

One of my favorite romance experts is Jessica Lalonde, known as The Love Lady. She is a Million Dollar Achiever with Passion Parties and has been featured on the TV show, The Doctors. Jessica hosted a ladies luncheon for me and had the women titillated as she spilled the secrets on how women could instantly better their sex life.

I got The Love Lady to share some tips that you can use for better Sex Tonight! Here is what she had to say:

“How To Have Better Sex Tonight”

by Jessica Lalonde

Sex seems like a pretty explanatory event right? I mean it’s not hard to figure out considering the ages that kids are becoming sexually active now days. However, while the act itself can be easily figured out, it can be difficult for many to experience the complete euphoria it can bring. Many couples engage in the act without taking advantage of the sensory organs they have been blessed with. Sex is meant to be a wonderful thing not a boring “let’s get this over with” task between a man and a woman. Here are some ways you can have better sex tonight….

Make It a Mutual Act

Sex is a mutual act. One has to get his or her partner ready for sex. If one partner is tired or not in the mood, it can become a boring routine event. When this happens, it can leave both partners feeling unfulfilled. Take a shower or a bath with our Romanta Therapy line. These products include pheromones that help to create a calming and at the same time increase the desire your partner has to be close to you.

Love Making

Sex is not just sex. It is an exchange of love between 2 people. That’s why it is called love making. During sex remember that you are also showing love for the other person. Make it about more than just the act itself. Take your time. Slow down. Breathe. A great way to keep your focus on love making is by using a blindfold. A blindfold doesn’t have to be something kinky that is accompanied by whips and chains. A simple blindfold will turn off your sense of sight and in return will heighten all of your other senses. Not ready to try a blindfold, simply keep your eyes closed the entire time.


Foreplay is a must. This is one thing that will stimulate both partners and will help them to achieve orgasm easier. Foreplay is the appetizer to the main dish. If you have a delicious appetizer it increases your desire to try the main dish. There are so many different forms of foreplay. Everything from a massage, a fun little game such as our dirty dice, a dusting with our edible Passion Powder in places that your partner has to find using only their tongue and many more. This is the area where you can be creative. You want to build the desire to get to the main course.


Routines can get boring just as intercourse with the same position every time. Our bodies can do so many amazing things that we won’t figure out until we try. This doesn’t mean that you have to do the 180 degree flip flop upside down limbo. If you try to step outside of your regular routine maybe by facing a different direction or elevating yourself with our Passion Pillow, You may find sensations you have never experienced before. To help you with your quest there are also many informative books for reading. One of my favorites is our Ride Em Cowgirl. This book features positions that you don’t need 10 years of yoga to get into, and has drawings accompanied by an informative description of what the position can do for you and your partner.

Go Somewhere

Yes, the bed is the easiest and more often than not the most accessible place to have sex. Just because it is easy doesn’t mean it has to be exclusive. Try moving your sex location to a different place in the house. Try doing it in the shower, on the floor, in the kitchen, or even the car in the garage. If you are really feeling adventurous you can leave the comfort of your home. Not only will changing locations help to keep things exciting and interesting between you and your partner, but it will also give you a newfound thrill and confidence about yourself as a sexual partner.

Use Enhancement Products When Needed

There are so many problems plaguing men and women that often spill into the bedroom. The good news is that you don’t have to suffer. For men it may be Erectile Dysfunction of which there are many creams, toys, etc… that aide in assisting this problem so it doesn’t have to be such a problem anymore. For women one of the biggest problems they face is not being in the mood. Try our Pure Satisfaction crème! It is like an orgasm in a bottle and helps your body get in the mood. You don’t have to suffer or assume that your sex life is doomed forever.

Be Your Biggest Fan

If you are confident in yourself as a partner, it will make sex more enjoyable for both parties involved. Don’t stress yourself out trying to find the perfect position, location, or foreplay act. Step out of the box and try something different and new. With the holidays coming why not purchase something fun to slip into your partners stocking. Once you start the journey of a wonderful sex life, there will be no turning back. Enjoy it all, and have fun!

For more on Jessica LaLonde go to

Love, Eris

A Plethora Of Period Tracking Apps For Men & Women

Diane Driscoll, the founder of weBEgirls, hipped me up to some really cool Apps for tracking your period.

The good news, I can now know exactly when my PMS alarm is about to go off without doing the math. My husband is really happy about this. The bad news is that some men are using these Apps to cheat on multiple women at once. Not Cool!

Here is what Diane Driscoll had to say:

A Plethora of Period Tracking Apps for Men & Women

by Diane Driscoll

Women, this is not for the faint of heart, but let’s face it, our hearts haven’t been faint since the passing of the corset. Men want to track our periods. And it seems not always for the most flattering of reasons. Some apps even let them track multiple women, allegedly for the several girlfriends or wife and mistresses.

According to a recent article in The Washington Post, “A tour of recent technological creations shows that menstruation apps for men are a booming market.

”PMSBuddy,” for example, is proudly “saving relationships, one month at a time.” “PMS Meter” features “hilarious sound effects.” And the infamous “IAmAMan,” which is nothing if not unapologetic, allows users to track the menstrual cycles of several women at once, for those special times when you are a big cheater.”

Hmm. Besides the lovely words the apps use to describe us women during these times, “her-ricane”, “menstrual madness” or a “she-devil with horns”, these apps can be beneficial for us women too.

One statement from one of these app sites really resonates with me: “’Every month, women go through the same ups and downs, but the men in our lives never seem to catch on,’ said Lisi Harrison.”

The truth is how can I expect any man in my life to “catch on” to my cycle when, after all these years, I haven’t either?

I need one of these apps for me. A day or two before my period I feel like eating the world and anything, ANYTHING, could bring a flood of tears to my eyes (okay, I admit, maybe that is a little “menstrual madness”). And every month I wonder what’s wrong with me. Then the next day I get my period and I’msurprised. The same light bulb every month, “Oh, that’s why!”

I know some of you women are that together that you track your periods. Sadly, I’m not one of you. After a few months of logging in the stats, the period tracker apps will do all the work and remind us, male and female users alike. Whew. What a relief that will be.

Here are the top period trackers:

Code Red

The most popular ($2.99), “[this] application has climbed as high as 35 on the Lifestyle division of the Apple app store — a category that includes hundreds of applications.” “All you have to do is set the start day of her most recent cycle, and the app takes care of the rest.” When the tracking starts, Code Red will provide special alert messages for every phase in her cycle such as “smooth sailing”, “horny alert”, “ovulation alert” and of course, “code red”.

PMS Buddy

With this app (free) you can track up to 10 women’s cycles and the date when their period will begin. You simply input each woman’s name and the last date of her menstrual cycle and the average length (PMS Buddy recommends the average 28 day cycle) and the user will automatically start receiving alerts. Women can also use this app too.

PMS Meter

I guess this app ($0.99) looks at the funnier side of menstrual cycles. Cited as being an “early warning system for PMS” or if “someone’s being cranky, but you’re just not sure why? “ There’s an activate button that you just press and the PMS Meter loads with “Hilarious (sound effects and animated sequences) fun for you and your friends.” The app also adds, “Great for parties, birthdays, family gatherings, or any social occasion.” Yeah, just want any gal would want at a party – your guy making fun of your period. Maybe this is one of those apps you only share with you buds – in your man cave.


Boasted as the app ($1.99) for “your private life planning,” (really…? ugh) it lets men track the cycles of multiple females, with symbols for each girl and her menses, ovulation and pms with a phone icon listed next to her name, theoretically so you can booty call the one in the clear. Additionally, it offers a passwords for each female so that if one of them “accidentally bumps into this application and makes you enter the password–she will be the only one to appear on the list.” Wow, they have really thought of everything.


This is the one we women would love the most from our men. Described by the app ($3.99): “Being aware of what your women are going through and knowing where they are in their cycle is essential in being a more caring and understanding man; in short it will help you become a better mate!” Love that. In addition to tracking our period, ovulation and pms days; our men can keep track of our favorite color, song, perfume, likes and gift ideas…and it stores special event dates and our clothing sizes.
Period Tracker

One for us woman, with both a light (free) and a deluxe version ($1.99). Period tracker takes daily notes of moods, symptoms, and intimacy. It can export your period dates and notes to email for backup or doctor’s visits. You can easily view the number of days until next period or number of days late. Know when you’re fertile with flowers that show on your homescreen during your predicted ovulation and eight day “fertile window,” maybe not science, but a helpful reminder for those couples trying to get pregnant. And the deluxe version also takes daily notes of menstrual symptoms including spotting, flow, cramps, headaches, backaches, bloating, tender breasts, and body aches. It also will track you weight and has a pregnancy mode for a countdown until your due date.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Top 10 Cities For Singletons

It’s time to find out where the boys and girls are!

Maybe you travel for business and you like to go out or date on your evenings off. Maybe you’re one of those people who is willing to consider a romantic match anywhere in the country because you know your soul mate might not be in the same city as you. Or maybe you’re just looking for a city where the job market is bigger and singleton opportunities are bigger too.

Whatever you’re reason, says you should consider these three lists.

The first is the top 10 cities for singles:

• Washington, D.C./Baltimore

• Miami

• Chicago

• Los Angeles

• Atlanta

• San Francisco/Oakland

• Houston

• New York City

• Dallas-Fort Worth

• Philadephia

No real surprises here! This list takes into consideration where you can go out: how many nightclubs, bars and restaurants there are in each of these top cities. They also look at how many sports teams, museums, and theaters (legit and film) there are – plus university life. These all add together into what makes a great single city in terms of night life. Options for fun are always important to singles.

But when you look at a different statistic, ratio of men to women, you might come up with something different, especially if your gender is in the lower number of that ratio.

10 Cities Where Guys Outnumber Women:

• Atlanta

• Los Angeles

• Seattle

• San Francisco

• Minneapolis/St. Paul

• Phoenix

• Austin

• Las Vegas

• San Diego

• Denver

10 Cities Where Women Outnumber Guys:

• Raleigh

• Washington, D.C.

• New York City

• New Orleans

• Memphis

• Chicago

• Baltimore

• Boston

• St. Louis

• El Paso

Traditionally in eastern cities there are more men than women, but when you head west you’ll find cities where there are more men than women. But in the end does all this matter? All you need is one guy and one girl, and a few sparks.

What really gets you to coupledom is not being afraid to go out and look no matter what city you live in.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

How To Not Abandon Yourself In A Relationship

One of the major causes of relationship problems is self-abandonment. We’ve all done it or have seen our friends do it. We fall into the spend-every-minute-you-can-with-them beginnings of a relationship (what I call the La La Land Stage in love). You can’t imagine life without your partner. In fact, you won’t even consider it.

When you abandon yourself, you let go of your self-interests and desires. Time with your friends begins to drift away. Your gym membership suddenly is gathering dust, you begin to drink more because he’s a drinker, or you become a vegan because they are. You begin to believe that you need one another rather than enrich and assist each other. You fall into the trap of making your partner your ALL - spouse, friend, counselor, job coach, mother, father, accountant, etc.

We think that by accommodating the other person’s every need we will make ourselves mold perfectly into their lives, become indispensible. Sometimes our partner isn’t even asking us to, we do it willingly, unknowingly out of fear. The word compromise now means - compromise who I am.

The bottom line is none of it is healthy.

So, why do we lose ourselves to love? Maybe you believe that you won’t be able to take care of yourself without that person. As if you are nothing without them. That loving yourself is a crime. Or, you feel like you will never find anyone as good as them so you hold on with white knuckles. Even worse, some of us were not shown love from our parents when we were young. How are you supposed to love the you that nobody loves?

So, now what? The bad news is, when we don’t love ourselves, we lose ourselves. However, the good news is that sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. Sometimes we have to hit a bottom to have a break through.

Here’s a good rule of thumb, don’t sacrifice yourself in a relationship – ever. When you make the decision to love yourself first, rather than last, you will begin to experience more loving relationships. No matter how cliché it sounds, it is true - you must love yourself before you can love someone else. Remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice! Make the choice to love yourself and the feeling will come.

Loving yourself will create love in your life. Here are some steps you can do to boost your self-love and shift your relationship with yourself.

• Take your power back.
• Begin to know, appreciate and love who you are.
• Hug yourself.
• Nurture your gifts and talents.
• Begin to work on yourself for yourself, not for anyone else.
• Forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so don’t beat yourself up over your mistakes.
• Make the changes within to guide you to your best self.
• Reestablish your friendships and make amends to those you have abandoned.
• Do one thing a day, to change yourself into the person you want to become.

Happiness and love is inside of you, not something or someone on the outside.

“I am the one I have been looking for.”
Iyanla Vanzant

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

20 Fabulous Cheap Date Ideas

Remember the day when dinner and a movie was a cheap date night? Hmmm. Neither do I. That’s why I came up with 20 fabulous cheap dates ideas that you can do on any tight budget.

Even though people might have lighter wallets today, this should not be an excuse to skip the date nights. Those special nights are what keep your romance alive.

Check out these budget friendly date ideas. Don’t forget to give yourselves VIP treatment without the price tag.

  1. Halloween is right around the corner. Get spooked out at a haunted house or hayride. You can even start off the night by watching a scary movie before you go.
  2. Craving a fancy restaurant, but can’t afford it? For a break on your dinner bill, sigh up for Blackboard Eats, Groupon, or - just to name a few. They send coupons right into your inbox for all sorts of special deals. Check your local listings.
  3. Depending on where you live and what the whether is, go to an indoor or outdoor ice-skating rink. It’s the perfect excuse to hold hands. Grab some hot chocolate afterwards, while cozying up to each other.
  4. Skip the trendy & pricey bar and grab a few beers at your local dive bar. Hey, don’t snicker; I met my husband at a local pub.
  5. Stay in for a night of papering. Run a candle lit bubble bath and then treat each other to full-body massages.
  6. Make a list of your favorite charities. Then pick one that you both love and believe in and do some volunteer work together. It’s a great way to bond while doing something worthwhile.
  7. Go Bowling. Between pitchers of beer for less than 10 dollars and cheap rental shoes, it’s a perfect date & a whole lotta fun.
  8. Go on a local hike. Put together a picnic basket, grab your camera, pack your hiking sneakers and take a romantic hike with the one that you love. Hello…another excuse for handholding.
  9. Pottery Painting. Go to a place like Color Me Mine. Choose your ceramic, sketch your design, paint it however you like and not only will the two of you have some laughs, you’ll have a souvenir to remember.
  10. Spend the day picking fruit at a local farm. Once you’ve picked all the apples you can carry, go back home and make grandma’s scrumptious pie recipe.
  11. For the couple that sings, go on the town for some Karaoke. You can even do a Sonny and Cher Duet of, “I got you, babe.”
  12. How about a Sunset for Two? Why? Because we all like sunsets.
  13. For those of you who like to swing, try a few rounds of miniature golf.
  14. Take a tour at a local winery, while taking some sips of wine for FREE on them. You can even make a list of wines you would like to have at your next party.
  15. Do a movie theme night. If you are in the mood for French, rent “French Kiss” and grab a baguette with some Brie Cheese.
  16. Are you addicted to Dancing with the Stars? Take a couples dance class and learn to Tango together. Even though you might step on each other’s toes, you’ll be grooving together.
  17. Ask each other what your dream cars are. Then, head over to that local car dealership for a test drive.
  18. Take a class together. Sign up and learn something neither one of you knows how to do. Community classes & centers offer lots of options from earning a new language to cooking to karate.
  19. Go camping overnight. There’s no TV to interrupt your conversation and the night is long. Don’t forget to roast some marshmallows and retire early to your sleeping bags.
  20. Wonder what your future holds? Go see a local fortuneteller. You don’t really need a crystal ball to see if the two of you are meant to be. But you can giggle on how right or wrong they read your romance.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Can I Call My Ex?

The phone is not your friend.

Can you hear me now?...Can you hear me now?...

This is not new information. It shows up in most break-up books, blogs, advice columns, etc. However, I would be remiss if I neglected to inform you of this pertinent fact of break-up phone etiquette.

I highly recommend not calling your ex. The phone is not your friend – hang it up.

The reason why I suggest not calling him is because you have broken-up. It is over. He does not want to talk to you. If he does want to talk to you, he will call. And, on the flip side, if you broke up with him, do you need to hurt him any more by calling him?

You need space and time in order to heal. This includes space from communicating. This is really important while you are taking steps to evolve and mend your broken heart. Erase his phone number from your mind, phones, and anywhere else you have it stored. DELETE. DELETE. DELETE. Don’t text, e-mail, Facebook, live on his my space, IM, say hi when you see him online, or snail mail him.

Trust me on this one.

Let me give you a little bit of my history. I can’t even remember how many times I that the number one rule is to not call that guy. Do you think I listened? NO! When Mr. Yellow broke up with me I sent him a poem to tell him how I really felt about “us”. No response. Then I called to just check in to see how he was doing. No call back. He wanted nothing to do with me. You would think that I learned my lesson with him. So, when Mr. Gray and I broke up, I didn’t call once. I cringed my teeth, but I did not pick up the phone. But, then, I couldn’t take it any more. I gave in. You think that I would have gotten the hint that he wasn’t that into me after a few of months of no contact. Well, I didn’t. I figured that if I reached out and told him how much work I did on myself he would miss me and remember what an amazing woman I really was. Do you think I got the response I wanted? NO!

They never answer the way you want them to if you chase them. If he wants to talk to you he’ll call. They usually do – even if you don’t want them to. Even if it’s just a bootie call.

If you still are wondering if you should call him ask yourself the following questions to reflect:

- Have you ever called or tried to contact an ex after the two of you broke up? [ ] yes [ ] no

- Did he answer? [ ] yes [ ] no

- Did you get the response that you were looking for? [ ] yes [ ] no

- How did that make you feel?

If you still feel the urge to contact him, try to engage yourself in activities you can do instead. Example: go shopping, to a movie or even a double feature, exercise, write, learn more about yourself, plan a trip alone or with friends, watch television, go to a friend’s house, prepare a nice meal for yourself, start internet dating. If you need to pick up the phone, call a friend or family member instead. Make sure that you call someone who is supportive and does not make you feel bad about yourself.

Lets say you decide to break down and call him because you just can’t help yourself. You feel like you REALLY need to hear his voice. I understand that it is your life and you are going to do whatever you want to do. However, if you do decide to make this move, try not to call him at odd hours of the night, first thing in the morning (especially on Saturday or Sunday), or on a Friday night. Don’t call him at his office. DO NOT, under any circumstances, check his voicemail (That is an invasion of privacy and its just wrong). And by the way, PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND DIAL. You will only make an ass out of yourself by doing this.

If you decide to call, I propose that you leave him a voicemail or e-mail to tell him what you need to say.

NOTE: You are taking a RISK by contacting your ex. It is a RISK because you will most likely be let down. He probably will not give you the response that you are looking for.

If you take the venture to call, notice what your expectations are. How are you expecting him to respond? What do you want him to say to you? Why do you feel the need to call him? Write these answers down in your journal to reflect.

To Your Break THROUGH Success!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Mother In Law or Out Law?

Ladies, do you have troubles with your mother-in-law?

Does your husband seem to never sitck up for you?

Do you ask the question, "How do I get my husband to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?"

Having mother-in-law problems is nothing to joke about. It can put a strain on even the healthiest relationships. When Mama isn’t happy, no one is happy.

  • Find a quite time when just the two of you can talk.

  • When communicating with your husband, don’t nag, scold or make him choose sides. Don’t make your husband feel worse than he probably already does. Start by giving him a compliment by saying, “It is wonderful that you and your mother have such a close relationship.”

  • Then, tell him how you FEEL about the situation. For example, “However, it makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure that you don’t stick up for me when she and I have an issue.” By doing this, she allows her husband to feel like a man and do something about it.

Remember: Women have to FEEL good to DO good. Men have to DO good to FEEL good.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Are You Heart Broken?

The facts are that over 90% individuals have experienced a heart break at some point and time. Over 50% of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. So, if you are experiencing heartache right now, you are not alone.

Once we break up it can be too painful to look at the reality of what the relationship was. Many times we check out and only seem to remember the good times and forget the reasons why we really broke up. Or, we act out by indulging in our favorite addictions (drinking, over eating, shopping, sex) so that we don't have to feel. Sometimes it even seems easier to go back to the ex than to deal with reality.

I am going to challenge you to do differently this time.

The most important thing is for you to do is build a new, strong foundation for yourself.

If you choose to take responsibility, you will allow the Break to take you UP to your next level of personal development. I suggest that you stop repeating your same behaviors and destructive patterns that have prevented your happiness in your relationships.

How are you going to do this?

The following 7 Steps have been fundamental to leading me to having a successful and loving marriage today. They have helped countless people around the globe do the same. I wish the same for you.

  1. Take a real look at yourself in the mirror. It's a Break UP not a Break DOWN.

Your relationship ending does not mean that your life is over. It means that it is just about to begin. It's time to create new habits and ways of thinking. If you set an intention to heal your broken heart, take the steps, and focus on getting there, you will.

The truth is, your relationship was not supposed to last longer than it did - otherwise you would still be together. When you choose to stop being the victim, you discover how much you can grow from the experience.

  1. Spend time alone with me, myself and I.

It's time to get comfortable with being alone. Many people ask the question, "Why do I need to spend time alone?" The answer is simple: because it is essential for your growth and well-being. We all need time to reflect - on our lives, our day, how our emotions are affecting our outlook, our treatment of others, how we are feeling - and to engage in solo activities that we enjoy. Being alone gives us a chance to focus on who we are as individuals.

Too often in love relationships we give up our individuality. This can be the time for you to reclaim yours. Now that your relationship is over, take advantage of this alone time. Reevaluate what you like to do. You do not have to be afraid of this. Embrace it.

  1. Stop tripping out on your baggage.

It's important for you to recognize where your pains began and begin to heal your inner child. So, grow up and stop blaming everything on your parents or your exes. That does not encourage internal growth. It stunts it.

You can't change your past, but you can take charge of yourself and how you react in certain situations. You can change.

  1. I'm Free to do what I want. So, Just do it!

Letting go of your baggage is a process. Part of this is reconnecting to your life. Go out and have some fun - either alone or with friends and family. Just do it.

Just be careful of engaging in self-destructive patterns like sex with the ex, too many margaritas, or even a rebound. If you can't be your barometer, do yourself a favor and listen to those around you.

  1. Say, "Thank You. Thank You. Thank You."

It's easy to find gratitude in life when things are going well - like when you first fall in love. It might seem more challenging to be grateful when life isn't going in the direction that we think that it should be - like when a break-up happens. You think, "Why do I deserve this:" Or, It's unfair." However, this is the time when the greatest gifts can be received.

  1. Start Mapquesting your future.

Begin by asking yourself what you want your future to look like. Then start being who you want to be. You can become this person. Do whatever it takes, whatever you can, to become that person. From this moment forward, question yourself about everything, and continue to ask yourself what parts of you still need to grow. Take your whole self into consideration: your values, goals, work, balance, fulfillment, family, and life purpose. Set an intention for yourself. You gotta see it to be it.

You can have all of the dreams you want, but in order for you to make your dreams come true, it is important for you to set goals and have them be complete and concrete. Once that is in place, you have to take the steps to get there. If obstacles get in your way and prevent you from moving on, ask yourself what you can do to go through them.

  1. Going from "Me" to "We". Date Consciously.

When you are ready to move forward and start dating again, go for it! Get ready for love, know what values are important to you, be open and willing and the person that you want to find. Remember that a relationship takes work. But, it doesn't have to be the kind of work that drags you down. It's just the kind of a dance that takes two to tango.

PS. If you want to be taken through these steps by me, I suggest getting my Audio System "Break-Up Emergency A 7 Simple Step System to heal your broken heart and begin to date." You will quickly learn how to heal your broken heart, have a break through, and find the love you want and deserve. If you are ready, click here and go to the "Eco CD Series."

PPS. Its on SALE right now!

To Your Break THROUGH Success!

Article on "10 Things You Should Know About Men"

The Amazing Tiernan McKay revealed Clayton & My advice on "10 Things you should know about men" In
What Makes Men Tick? (Hint: It's not just sex!)
To read the article go to

Monday, September 6, 2010

10 Things You Should Know About Men

First you have to know what your man wants and needs before you can ever Man-ip-ute™ him. And, when you learn the mastery of Man-ip-ulation™, you can finally get in the relationship that you want and deserve. Clayton, my husband, and I have an upcoming book called “The Man-ip-ulator™ vs. The Wo-man-izer™. Everything you need to know to get the relationship you want.”

Hungry for some Man-ip-ulation™ advice? Since I am in such a great mood, I am going to give you a little taste.

These are 10 things EVERY woman needs to know so she can Man-ip-ute™ her man into getting the love she deserves and becoming the ultimate Man-ip-ulator™.

10 Things You Should Know About Men:

  1. The first thing you need to know about men is that men are needy. Men need Respect, Praise, Interest in What They Do, Support/Encouragement, Collaboration, Understanding, Love, Time Alone, Etc., Etc. Etc.
  2. Men need respect. A woman should appreciate his value and achievements and what he does for her and others. A man is going to find respect somewhere. If she doesn’t give it to him, then he is going to find it someplace else.
  3. Men need praise. Men have low self-esteem. They constantly need to be reminded about how great they are (in life and in bed. Ergo the fake orgasm. Come on girls, you know you’ve done it at least once. And if you haven’t, I highly suggest it). Praise him for all of those things that you respect him for. Appreciate him for what he does. (If you ask him to do the dishes and he doesn’t do them perfectly then appreciate the fact that he actually did them, even if it is not to your exact specifications. Don’t nag him about how inefficient he is and how you would have done a much better job.)
  4. Men need others to be interested in what they do. So, if you are smart, you will be the one who is interested in what he does, whether it be sports, his job, whatever. You don’t have to live, and breathe it, just understand it enough to show that you are interested. Be interested in their thoughts and activities. When he asks you for help, do the things you can to support him.
  5. Men need Support/Encouragement. Be a good listener and a good communicator. If you support him, he will support you. And if you encourage him with his goals and dreams, he will be a better man for it.
  6. Men need Collaboration. Men love to have a companion, a best friend. They don’t want to be told what to do or how to do it. The best thing that you can do is manipulate him into thinking that he came up with the idea.
  7. Men need Understanding. A man needs to be understood. When he takes the time to actually talk to you, don’t blow it off or ignore it, just listen. This will give you a great opportunity to retort.
  8. Men need Love and yes, that does include sex. But, don’t we all? That’s where Man-ip-upation™ really comes in handy. But, love is not just sex. Love is a look, a touch, a kiss, and stroking his ego. It is being attentive to the other person’s needs.
  9. Men need time alone. We all need time alone, unless you are addicted to codependency. So, allow and encourage him to do what he does to recharge. If you do this, the time you spend with him will be even better. This does not include his addiction to porn, fantasy football and video games. Time alone does have its limits.
  10. There really is a lot more that men need. I could go on and on and on. But what you need to know about men first is that they are needy.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I'm Featured in Shopping Life Style

I am so honored that Tiernan McKay quoted me in her article, "Your Sexual Past: Does He Really Need To Know?" Check it out

To Your REALationship Success!

Friday, July 30, 2010

When Do I Tell Them How Many People I Have Slept With?

When entering a new relationship many people want to know when they should do share information about their sexual history?

In a perfect world you should share information with your partner.

But, we aren't in a perfect world.

When you enter a new relationship, remember the saying
"If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." No matter how cliche it sounds - its true!

Sexual history should be left in the past where it belongs except for discussions regarding health issues (HIV, sexually transmitted diseases, etc). Everything else is like walking the razors edge. The next step can be the best choice or worst choice you ever made.

When entering a relationship - especially a committed one that can lead to marriage - discussing a specific number shouldn't even be a topic of discussion. What is in the past should stay in the past.

But if you need to know...

When it comes to the amount of partners, usually less is more for men. Men like to think that he is only man she has ever been with...or will ever be again. And, if there have been men in the past - LESS is better. Men would rather not know about a woman's past. A guy doesn't want a girl who has slept with more people than he has (unless she is a Super Model or a one night stand. Then he doesn't really care). They like the "Madonna Whore" and they want to be the one to teach her everything. Guys don't have a problem with a number that is too low. Unfortunate but true - It's a double standard.

Women like a man who has had more experience than she has. They like the bad boy who can get any girl and he has picked HER over all the rest. What woman would say no to Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson - a man who will show her a thing or two about a thing or two while adding excitement to her life. Women like a guy who will cherish her, protect her and take a Bull by the Horn.

Uh Oh...Now you might be asking if it is ok to lie about your sexual history?

Never Lie. However, it is OK to divert the conversation by being vague. You can say, "I'm not comfortable to talk about this right now." "I don't know you well enough to have that conversation." "We don't want to go there."

Fact is, the most important thing here isn't the number of sexual partners someone has had. It is if they have a history of cheating or some kind of sexual addiction. This is a health issue. Having this information is important for you because it is the rest of your life.

When you are in a REALationship, the past number of sexual partners shouldn't matter. However, communicating and making your partner feel safe and secure is key.

Once you are in a committed relationship or thinking that you want to spend some extended amount of time in a relationship with them, it is important to communicate with them that the past is the past and they are the one that you want to be with. Make them feel secure, like there is no other.