Monday, June 9, 2008

Looking For Your Mr. Big?

Speaking of Sex In The City, we all know that the theme of the series is about being single and finding "The One".

Are you worried that you will never find a great relationship and end up being single FOREVER?

What kind of relationship do you dream of having - or already found?

Who is your Mr. Big?

Here's a fun little story:

A good friend of mine had her idea of her perfect Mr. Big. He was tall, dark and handsome - an Ivy League graduate - a doctor or a lawyer or both.

In her mind he made at least 6 figures, drove a luxury car, was well endowed, had perfect teeth and genes.

For years she shopped for her perfect Mr. Big. But luckily the stores had an open return policy. She seemed to keep finding ready to wear but not couture. The closest thing to a perfect man she could find was Jimmy Choo in the shoe department. Luckily she had her friends to keep her company: Vera, Stella, Diane, Luis and me.

My friend became frustrated and tired and got to the point where she had these thoughts:

· "I'm happy to be single and focus on myself."
· "ALL of the good men are taken."
· "I don't need a guy! ALL men are screwed up anyways."

But then she remembered that she really did want that connection with someone. She knew that she couldn't be single forever.

She became determined to make some space for a relationship. She set the intention for herself and started shopping once more.

Then, once upon a time...I received a text from my friend, which read, "Eureka, I found him!"

The funny thing was that he didn't quite resemble the guy that she envisioned. But, he cherished her, complimented her, had the same core values and made her feel like she could fulfill her dreams. He was her PERFECT Mr. Big.

As I like to say: There Is Always Hope. Don't Give Up. Keep Shopping! Your perfect Mr. Big could be right around the corner.

2 Keys To Making A Relationship Healthy

I want to share with you how to become more connected and fulfilled in a relationship.

Step One:

Ask yourself some simple questions:

* How do YOU feel when you're with your mate?

* Do you feel like they understand you?

* Or, do you feel like you never can BE 100% YOURSELF?

* Do you feel like they support you with your passions in life?

* Or, do you feel like the two of you have very little in common when it comes to the things you love to do?

* Do you feel like your conflicts take up so much time that you spend more time arguing than focusing on things that are more important to you?

* Does your relationship keep you from being the person you WANT to be or were before you met this person?

Now, ask yourself how you think
your mate would answer these questions.

If you're in a great relationship right now, and you
feel that there's NO ONE else who makes you feel
like your can reach your full potential - then nothing I'm going to say here is going to be news
to you.

In fact, I would love for you to e-mail me your Successful LOVE STORY. (

BUT, if you're feeling confused, alone, angry or
depressed about where you are, then
continue reading because these two keys that I'm about to share with you can help.

KEY #1:
Know YOUR Goals & Vision.

Don't forget that you had a life before your mate.

Have you forgotten about your purpose or hobbies?

If the answer to that question is YES, then this exercise of setting some goals for yourself will help.

Write down your goals.

The first thing in achieving a goal is to have a strong commitment to it.

Then, it is important to have a strategy on how you will deal with the things that will stand in your way of achieving your goals.

Last, keep track of your progress.

Here is an example of how you can write down your goals clearly:

My Goal:____________________

Steps I need to take to get there


KEY #2:
Know your Goals and Vision in
Your Relationship.

Sexual Chemistry and Passion is not ENOUGH for a successful relationship. In fact, that is the icing on the cake.

In order to be truly fulfilled and connected for the
long-term, your relationship also needs to have a common vision and goal.

Now, it just so happens that Clayton and I have very similar Goals and Visions for our relationship.
But it doesn't mean that we don't have to be clear and constantly work on making it happen.

The important thing to remember is that you have to continue to communicate and support each other's passion because that is what is going to make them a better mate. By being in a relationship TOGETHER, you're building a life that actually nurtures and supports your goals and vision together.

To ensure that you are working on creating your life together, I suggest map questing it clearly with one another.

Repeat the same activity that I suggested above - but do it together.

So, two keys in staying in a
healthy relationship are:

1. Make sure that you follow through with YOUR own goals and vision.

2. Make sure that you follow through with your goals and vision in YOUR RELATIONSHIP.