Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sex in a Perfect World

Beginning a new sexual relationship is like entering the gates of a Secret Garden. It’s a place where a caterpillar creates its cocoon for the butterfly to escape its chrysalis and flutter around in your stomach. Falling in love feels like ecstasy. The bee’s wings, in frenetic motion, cause a buzzing sound in your ear. Life instantly begins to have meaning. Two birds in flight soar into the clouds. Your heart beats faster. Entangled and entwined. You are floating on air, and your possibilities seem endless. You experience a sense of vitality that you never felt before. The love you feel sparks a flame deep within your unconscious. Supplies of oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and other neurotransmitters are at high levels. Then you come crashing back to earth. You know your ABC’s and the birds and the bees. Its love in La La Land.

La La La...Blah Blah Blah... There is no such thing as a perfect world or a perfect relationship. There are just good ones and not so good ones. But, we can learn from them all. What have you learned about yourself from your past or present relationships? (comment on my Blog)

When Clayton and I first became intimate in our relationship the flames were high and sparks were flying everywhere. Then July 5th came and the fireworks were over. We both realized that we had to reignite our own passion and love for each other. Its not always easy with the day to day hustle and bustle and responsibilities in Reality Land. Clayton and I usually find time to make love on the weekends. This past Saturday must have been 13 minutes plus some foreplay (not that I was counting...LOL). When Monday came around I flirted with Clayton hoping to carry on the weekend into the work week. He was so exhausted from his long work day that he said NO! Why is it that its OK when men don't want to have sex and not OK when women don't?

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Sex takes 3 to 13 minutes

According to CNN.com and a survey of sex therapists, the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse is 3 to 13 minutes. The average time is 7.3 minutes. This does not include foreplay. So, for all you you out there who feel short changed or cheated for what you thought was a "quickie," you might need to reevaluate. What turns you on? What is a good amout of time that works for you in your sexual experiences?

I have actually never timed myself having sex, unless I am so bored that I turn over to look at the clock (which I have never done with my fiance, Clayton..wink,wink). What I realize is that it is not about the time it takes, its how you utilize it. And, foreplay can last all day.