Thursday, December 22, 2011
I went to Beverly Hills Manners Etiquette expert, Lisa Gache, for her tips on proper etiquette when meeting your partner's parents.
Lisa says that "In order to ensure your best impression and curry favor with your potential future in-laws, it's better to err on the side of friendly and formal."
1. Use a Formal Greeting. Upon your first meeting, rather than go straight in for a hug that may not be reciprocated, be respectful and offer a friendly handshake instead. Remember to extend your right hand, shake web-to-web with two pumps and then release. Address the parents by using their titles and surnames (Hello Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it is a pleasure to finally meet you) and wait for them to give you permission to call them by their first names.
2. Be a Gracious Houseguest. Play by the house rules and keep your belongings neat and tidy. Nobody wants to entertain a rude or sloppy houseguest. Stick to the same rising and bedtime schedule as the rest of the household. Keep your personal items organized. Make your bed and be mindful of bathroom time.
3. Offer to Help with the Cooking & Cleaning. Even if cooking and cleaning is not your forté, when you are a guest in someone else's home, offer to pitch in and be helpful in any way you can. Set the table, clean the dishes, hand spices to the chef, sweep the floor, the possibilities are endless! Whatever you do, do not act as if you are staying in a hotel and expect to be waited on hand-and-foot.
4. Use the Magic Words & Be Free w/Compliments. A gracious houseguest will use the five main magic words: please, thank you, you're welcome, I'm sorry and excuse me, without abandon. They will also be free with the compliments making sure to recognize the hostess of the house, their significant other and any other family members by acknowledging them with favorable words.
5. Listen More than You Speak. Keep the conversation flowing, but make sure to ask questions and listen to the answers. When it's your turn to speak, do not give one word answers. Stick to safe topics such as the weather, sports, cultural events and seasonal topics. Do not divulge the skeletons in your closet. Some things are better left unsaid.
6. Say Thank You & Be Invited Back. At the end of your stay, purchase a small gift for the host (such as an item for the home or a small plant) and write a thoughtful handwritten thank you note detailing the highlights of your stay. This will ensure you are invited back again in the future and is guaranteed to make your significant other very happy.
Lisa Gaché has been featured on CNN, NPR, KTLA-TV and "The Today Show," and in popular publications from USA Today, Los Angeles Times, NY Daily News and the New York Post to Woman's Day magazine. Her online contributions range from AOL to The Huffington Post, and she has been a guest expert on a number of shows including CBS' "The Doctors," VH1's "Charm School" and "Living with Ed"(Discovery Channel). Visit her website at beverlyhillsmanners.com
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
- Am I a serial monogamist? Do I have a history of going from relationship to relationship? [ ] yes [ ] no
- Am I tring to fill a void right now? [ ] yes [ ] no
- Is my ex in a rebound relationship and am I trying to prove a point? [ ] yes [ ] no
- When I am out with this person, do I think about my ex often? [ ] yes [ ] no
- Are my old patterns coming up again? [ ] yes [ ] no
Monday, February 28, 2011
Check out my interview with @SavvyDivorcdChk on How To Heal Your Broken Heart. There are tools that you can start using right now. Once you listen to this you will be well on your way to getting into a relationship that you want and deserve! Enjoy!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Surviving a Breakup on Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all doom and gloom.
With a focus on getting over it, moving on, and finding the positive in a so called "negative" situation, men and women can get real concrete steps and insight to go from Break UP to Break THROUGH and Beyond.
The fact is that everywhere you look in February is images of couples kissing, candy, hearts, and love, love, love.
It is a shame that people who are not in a relationship are made to feel bad on Valentines Day.
To make matters worse, if you are already feeling alone, then this day can trigger all sorts of difficult feelings and emotions. However, all of this hype can trick you into putting just as much focus on this holiday as society does. This can be unwarranted as well as unhealthy.
I suggest that you change your perception of this day. Its just another day, and not being in a relationship right now is not the end of the world.
If you follow these simple steps this can be the first day of the rest of your life.
1. Don't wallow in self-pity.
Get out of bed! It's a Break UP not a Break DOWN. Your relationship ending does not mean that your life is over; it means that it is about to begin.
2. Today is a time for new beginnings.
Now that you are single, you have space for a new mate in your life - someone better than your last. Become clear about the kind of person you want to attract into your life next.
3. Spend some time alone with "me, myself and I."
Contemplate what you want to start doing with your life next. It is what I call, "Map Questing" your life.
4. Get up and get out!
Be around people & socialize. Go to the park, get a cup of coffee, go shopping. While you are out and about, flirt or make eye contact with someone new.
5. In the evening, go to a singles event or create one.
Celebrate by inviting your single friends over for a cocktail party. Ask each person to bring another single friend to the party.
6. The next day reflect on your Valentine's Day. How is your life going to be different from here on out? What kind of mate do you want to attract in your life next?
P.S. I have a Special Valentine's Day Survival Kit For You. If you want to Heal Your Broken Heart FAST, I highly recommend my 7 Simple Step System to Heal Your Broken Heart and Begin To Date.
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· 6 Eco Friendly MP3's that will take you from Break UP to Break THROUGH & Begin to Date. Listen to them in your computer, car stereo, or other CD player. You'll want to listen to these over and over.
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Make right now be the time that you FINALLY healed your broken heart, stop attracting the same mates into your life, and attract the relationship that you want and deserve in 2011! Grab your Valentine's Day Survival Kit on SALE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY! http://www.loveeris.com/shop.php
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I am a firm believer that when you are ready to attract love into your life, you should be willing to put as much energy into finding IT as you would looking for a new job. That includes putting on-line dating onto your agenda.
I know. I know. I hear complaints everyday from my clients and friends about their experiences from On-line dating. I’ve heard it all. “The guys are just gross.” “All of the people I have met on-line are losers.” “I never meet anyone compatible with me on-line.”
Well, if you keep having that negative perspective, that is exactly what you will get – gross losers who are not compatible with you. Whatever energy and thoughts that put out there is exactly what you will get back.
I have news for you: If you believe that you deserve to have love in your life, then love is what you will get. You just have to find a way to believe it deep down inside of yourself.
The fact is that every year hundreds of thousands of people find love on-line. So, if this statistic is a FACT, why should you not be included?
Read these love stories that developed online. Hopefully they will inspire you to get back online – or shift your perspective.
I married the love of my life this past February, after we met online in September 2008. I had been on OKCupid for about 3 weeks, and my husband who never used an online dating site was on the site about 10 minutes. He hadn’t even finished his profile when I sent him a message. We chatted on Yahoo IM for countless hours before we met in person 3 days later.
I was 47 at the time and he was 42. We’d both been married before and both swore we’d never do it again. Only when you meet the person of your dreams, things change. We are both happier than we’ve ever been in our lives, and have no problem with anyone knowing we met online. My husband is the man I dreamed of my whole life but never thought even existed. I am filled with gratitude every single day that I found him and he loves me.
My husband and I met online at the “turn of the century” (2000), long before internet dating was as popular as it is today. Because we lived in different towns, we corresponded by email for a few months before actually meeting face to face. Shortly thereafter we got engaged, and we’ll be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in April of next year.
Our friends and family were skeptical at first, and my brother even teased me about it in his toast at our wedding. But I guess we were just ahead of our time. We were absolutely made for each other, and we are certain we would never have met any other way. By the way, I was in my late 30′s and he was in his mid-40′s when we first met, so it is possible to find love online at any age!
My husband & I met on Match.com almost 9 years ago & have been happily married 6 years. It’s one of those blessed relationships that just keeps getting better – more fun, more love-filled. I was 45 y.o. at the time we met & had never been married. Dale had been married and divorced twice. Neither of us were good risks statistically. The internet really helped us wade through a lot of people who weren’t good matches for us. For instance, we both wanted people who didn’t drink which isn’t that common. Dale tells the story of receiving 10 possible matches meeting his criteria & then prioritizing them. Fortunately, I ended up at the top of the list. From his very first email that said nothing more than “Hey Miss Josey Lee, check me out. I’m Plant Man,” I had a special feeling about him. We wrote & spoke by phone, met 3 weeks later, and the rest is history. I got onto Match because I listened to a friend and my intuition. I wasn’t at all excited about it and never expected to meet anyone, expecially not my true love. Match didn’t work for my friend, however, because she wasn’t truly open & ready (still hung up on an unavailable man.)
Hi, I met my current partner, on-line two years ago. I had recently come out of a 10-year relationship, and joined chemistry.com, and within two weeks, met the man I am going to marry. Zac lived in Puerto Vallarta, at the time, and I had seen him on a trip I had taken to Puerto Vallarta while I was on Chemistry. I didn’t know it was him, and he didn’t know it was me. We met on line a few days later when I returned home to San Francisco – he emailed me, when he saw my ad. We still didn’t know we had seen each other. Within two weeks of meeting on-line, and Skyping for several hours a night, we also found out that we had lived across the street from each other when we lived in Seattle, that he had waited on me at a restaurant, and that one of my employees was best friends with his brother-in-law’s best friend. It was like we were meant to meet. Since then, a month after we met, I moved to Mexico with him for a year, and we just recently moved back to the States, and now live together in Dallas.
I live in Los Angeles, where it is notoriously difficult to meet people out in the “real world” if you’re over 30. So, in 2001, I decided to dismiss the stigmas attached to online dating and gave it a shot. I tried it on and off for about four years, met some nice guys (not a creep among them, one became one of my best friends) and had some short-term relationships. Two months out of being in a truly horrendous, year-long relationship with someone I had known for a very long time, I decided to get back online.
One of the first emails I got was a beautifully written, personalized, properly punctuated and spell-checked email. I looked at his profile; it said very little about who he was, though it was kind of witty. Worse still, there were three photos—–one of him in something like a medieval Viking mask with his arms up in the air, the second of him far away and in a group and in the third he was in in profile, with sunglasses on and holding the end of (gasp) what looked to be a beer bong! My first thought, “Meat head.” But I didn’t send him my stock rejection response, I just let it sit in my inbox for a month. When I reread it I thought, “This guy is definitely smart and articulate, and that counts for a lot in my book.” So I wrote him back, asking him some pointed questions and requested a REAL photo. I recall sitting at work, watching the picture load and seeing these breath-taking feline green eyes appear! The long-and-short of it is, he turned out to be a true gentleman, intelligent, kind, romantic and much more, and we’ve been together for over five years, married for two and a half. And I was only his sixth online date…..
Hi – here’s our story, and what a great one it is: About five years ago I took another guy to a black tie-optional event. He was still hungry after a few hours of nibbling on hors d’oeuvres, so he suggested we go to (I’m not kidding) Denny’s. As I sat across from him in Denny’s , watching him eat his Moon over My Hammy while I was still wearing my floor-length black Armani gown and custom-made cashmere coat, I vowed that I would never date again. Then six months later I briefly snuck out of dating retirement to meet one more guy who seemed too good to be true. Either way, this was really my very last date. I would either marry him or retire permanently. I was 48 at the time, single for almost 15 years, and had had enough.
In my heart of hearts, my dream guy would be a widower who had been happily married. And, he had to be 6’6”, since I am 6’2”. What were the odds? So imagine my surprise when I met Mike, 6’8” (he played basketball for VA Tech back in the ‘70’s), who had lost his wife of nearly 30 years. I was his first phone call, his first date and his first kiss. Ten days later he got off of the online dating site and said he wanted to see where we went. We married three years ago this past October and we are still ecstatically happy – and a symbol of hope to all of our family and friends.
If you missed my article on the Do’s and Don’ts of On-line Dating see previous article.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Are there rules when it comes to dating? Of course there are!
There was a time when dating was simple. Men were expected to be gentlemen and women were expected to be lady like. Their roles were clear-cut. Today singles are confused on how to behave on a date. The lines are blurred between the once widely accepted gender stereotypes.
Being in the “dating game” in this day and age can be quite traumatic without knowing the rules. So, I turned to Lisa Gache, Miss Manners and CEO of Beverly Hills Manners, who says “manners are the glue that holds everything together. They are like an inner GPS, a navigation system guiding us in the right direction and helping us to find our way. Manners are dynamic, ever-changing and they are very personal, yet they are always chic and always in style.”
Here are the Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Etiquette that Beverly Hills Manners says you must know when you date.
Set the tone beforehand. Make sure you are well-groomed from head-to-toe before meeting your date. Dress appropriately for the occasion. Select an ensemble that is classic and elegant and that is complementary to your physique. Subtlety is key. The goal is to enhance your natural features while looking like you have made an effort.
Brush up on current events. Dating involves making pleasant conversation. Read a national newspaper, go online or browse your local cultural calendar. It is much more appealing to speak with someone who is equally well-read and well-rounded. Stay away from using slang or swear words during conversation if you want to sound intelligent.
Listen, be interested and ask thoughtful questions. Make your date feel like they’re the only person in the room. Be present, maintain good eye contact, ask questions and listen to the answers. This is the best way to show that you care. Compliments are also always welcome.
Use proper table manners. Since most dating takes place while dining, these skills are more important than you think. Place your napkin in your lap. Use the continental style of eating with the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. Hold a glass of white wine or champagne by the stem and a glass of red wine by the base. Do remember to speak politely to the restaurant staff.
Wear a good sense of humor and a smile. Suitors prefer dates who are uplifting, positive and fun. Smiling and laughter helps you appear younger while simultaneously makes you more attractive and appealing to others.
Overdo the cologne or perfume. An application of just the right amount will send a potential suitor into overdrive, but an overbearing waft of a strong scent is enough to repel a skunk. Wear enough perfume so you catch just a hint of the scent. You want to enhance your appeal rather than detract from it.
Reveal too much too soon. Act like a lady or a gentleman and be discreet with your personal information. You do not need to offer your entire life story in the first meeting. Remain a bit mysterious to heighten the desire and secure an additional date.
Speak rudely or act arrogantly towards others. Be courteous and thoughtful to your date as well as others. This includes the wait staff, a coffee barista, a gas station attendant or anyone else you interact with or who has provided you a service. Rudeness and arrogance are negative attributes that will leave your date wondering how quickly he or she can end it!
Arrive late for your date. Unless an accident has occurred or someone is sick, arriving late for a date is a sign of disrespect and sends a message that you may have more important business to attend to. At the very least, have the courtesy to phone your date to let them know you are running behind. Plan ahead so that you are well-organized and allow enough time for traveling, etc.
Forget to say thank you. If you have been asked out on a date, whether it involves a casual meeting for drinks or an elaborate dinner for two, don’t forget to say thank you. Your thanks should be made in person once the date is complete and may also be followed up with a thank you email, text or handwritten note depending upon the formality of the occasion.
For more information on Lisa Gache go to www.beverlyhillsmanners.com.