5 Dating Etiquette Do’s & Don’ts for Men & Women

Are there rules when it comes to dating? Of course there are!

There was a time when dating was simple. Men were expected to be gentlemen and women were expected to be lady like. Their roles were clear-cut. Today singles are confused on how to behave on a date. The lines are blurred between the once widely accepted gender stereotypes.

Being in the “dating game” in this day and age can be quite traumatic without knowing the rules. So, I turned to Lisa Gache, Miss Manners and CEO of Beverly Hills Manners, who says “manners are the glue that holds everything together. They are like an inner GPS, a navigation system guiding us in the right direction and helping us to find our way. Manners are dynamic, ever-changing and they are very personal, yet they are always chic and always in style.”

Here are the Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Etiquette that Beverly Hills Manners says you must know when you date.

DO

Set the tone beforehand. Make sure you are well-groomed from head-to-toe before meeting your date. Dress appropriately for the occasion. Select an ensemble that is classic and elegant and that is complementary to your physique. Subtlety is key. The goal is to enhance your natural features while looking like you have made an effort.

Brush up on current events. Dating involves making pleasant conversation. Read a national newspaper, go online or browse your local cultural calendar. It is much more appealing to speak with someone who is equally well-read and well-rounded. Stay away from using slang or swear words during conversation if you want to sound intelligent.

Listen, be interested and ask thoughtful questions. Make your date feel like they’re the only person in the room. Be present, maintain good eye contact, ask questions and listen to the answers. This is the best way to show that you care. Compliments are also always welcome.

Use proper table manners. Since most dating takes place while dining, these skills are more important than you think. Place your napkin in your lap. Use the continental style of eating with the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. Hold a glass of white wine or champagne by the stem and a glass of red wine by the base. Do remember to speak politely to the restaurant staff.

Wear a good sense of humor and a smile. Suitors prefer dates who are uplifting, positive and fun. Smiling and laughter helps you appear younger while simultaneously makes you more attractive and appealing to others.

DON’T

Overdo the cologne or perfume. An application of just the right amount will send a potential suitor into overdrive, but an overbearing waft of a strong scent is enough to repel a skunk. Wear enough perfume so you catch just a hint of the scent. You want to enhance your appeal rather than detract from it.

Reveal too much too soon. Act like a lady or a gentleman and be discreet with your personal information. You do not need to offer your entire life story in the first meeting. Remain a bit mysterious to heighten the desire and secure an additional date.

Speak rudely or act arrogantly towards others. Be courteous and thoughtful to your date as well as others. This includes the wait staff, a coffee barista, a gas station attendant or anyone else you interact with or who has provided you a service. Rudeness and arrogance are negative attributes that will leave your date wondering how quickly he or she can end it!

Arrive late for your date. Unless an accident has occurred or someone is sick, arriving late for a date is a sign of disrespect and sends a message that you may have more important business to attend to. At the very least, have the courtesy to phone your date to let them know you are running behind. Plan ahead so that you are well-organized and allow enough time for traveling, etc.

Forget to say thank you. If you have been asked out on a date, whether it involves a casual meeting for drinks or an elaborate dinner for two, don’t forget to say thank you. Your thanks should be made in person once the date is complete and may also be followed up with a thank you email, text or handwritten note depending upon the formality of the occasion.

For more information on Lisa Gache go to www.beverlyhillsmanners.com.

How To Not Abandon Yourself In A Relationship

One of the major causes of relationship problems is self-abandonment. We’ve all done it or have seen our friends do it. We fall into the spend-every-minute-you-can-with-them beginnings of a relationship (what I call the La La Land Stage in love). You can’t imagine life without your partner. In fact, you won’t even consider it.

When you abandon yourself, you let go of your self-interests and desires. Time with your friends begins to drift away. Your gym membership suddenly is gathering dust, you begin to drink more because he’s a drinker, or you become a vegan because they are. You begin to believe that you need one another rather than enrich and assist each other. You fall into the trap of making your partner your ALL - spouse, friend, counselor, job coach, mother, father, accountant, etc.

We think that by accommodating the other person’s every need we will make ourselves mold perfectly into their lives, become indispensible. Sometimes our partner isn’t even asking us to, we do it willingly, unknowingly out of fear. The word compromise now means - compromise who I am.

The bottom line is none of it is healthy.

So, why do we lose ourselves to love? Maybe you believe that you won’t be able to take care of yourself without that person. As if you are nothing without them. That loving yourself is a crime. Or, you feel like you will never find anyone as good as them so you hold on with white knuckles. Even worse, some of us were not shown love from our parents when we were young. How are you supposed to love the you that nobody loves?

So, now what? The bad news is, when we don’t love ourselves, we lose ourselves. However, the good news is that sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. Sometimes we have to hit a bottom to have a break through.

Here’s a good rule of thumb, don’t sacrifice yourself in a relationship – ever. When you make the decision to love yourself first, rather than last, you will begin to experience more loving relationships. No matter how cliché it sounds, it is true - you must love yourself before you can love someone else. Remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice! Make the choice to love yourself and the feeling will come.

Loving yourself will create love in your life. Here are some steps you can do to boost your self-love and shift your relationship with yourself.

• Take your power back.
• Begin to know, appreciate and love who you are.
• Hug yourself.
• Nurture your gifts and talents.
• Begin to work on yourself for yourself, not for anyone else.
• Forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so don’t beat yourself up over your mistakes.
• Make the changes within to guide you to your best self.
• Reestablish your friendships and make amends to those you have abandoned.
• Do one thing a day, to change yourself into the person you want to become.

Happiness and love is inside of you, not something or someone on the outside.

“I am the one I have been looking for.”
–Iyanla Vanzant

10 Things You Should Know About Men

First you have to know what your man wants and needs before you can ever Man-ip-ute™ him. And, when you learn the mastery of Man-ip-ulation™, you can finally get in the relationship that you want and deserve. Clayton, my husband, and I have an upcoming book called “The Man-ip-ulator™ vs. The Wo-man-izer™. Everything you need to know to get the relationship you want.”

Hungry for some Man-ip-ulation™ advice? Since I am in such a great mood, I am going to give you a little taste.

These are 10 things EVERY woman needs to know so she can Man-ip-ute™ her man into getting the love she deserves and becoming the ultimate Man-ip-ulator™.

10 Things You Should Know About Men:

1. The first thing you need to know about men is that men are needy. Men need Respect, Praise, Interest in What They Do, Support/Encouragement, Collaboration, Understanding, Love, Time Alone, Etc., Etc. Etc.
2. Men need respect. A woman should appreciate his value and achievements and what he does for her and others. A man is going to find respect somewhere. If she doesn’t give it to him, then he is going to find it someplace else.
3. Men need praise. Men have low self-esteem. They constantly need to be reminded about how great they are (in life and in bed. Ergo the fake orgasm. Come on girls, you know you’ve done it at least once. And if you haven’t, I highly suggest it). Praise him for all of those things that you respect him for. Appreciate him for what he does. (If you ask him to do the dishes and he doesn’t do them perfectly then appreciate the fact that he actually did them, even if it is not to your exact specifications. Don’t nag him about how inefficient he is and how you would have done a much better job.)
4. Men need others to be interested in what they do. So, if you are smart, you will be the one who is interested in what he does, whether it be sports, his job, whatever. You don’t have to live, and breathe it, just understand it enough to show that you are interested. Be interested in their thoughts and activities. When he asks you for help, do the things you can to support him.
5. Men need Support/Encouragement. Be a good listener and a good communicator. If you support him, he will support you. And if you encourage him with his goals and dreams, he will be a better man for it.
6. Men need Collaboration. Men love to have a companion, a best friend. They don’t want to be told what to do or how to do it. The best thing that you can do is manipulate him into thinking that he came up with the idea.
7. Men need Understanding. A man needs to be understood. When he takes the time to actually talk to you, don’t blow it off or ignore it, just listen. This will give you a great opportunity to retort.
8. Men need Love and yes, that does include sex. But, don’t we all? That’s where Man-ip-upation™ really comes in handy. But, love is not just sex. Love is a look, a touch, a kiss, and stroking his ego. It is being attentive to the other person’s needs.
9. Men need time alone. We all need time alone, unless you are addicted to codependency. So, allow and encourage him to do what he does to recharge. If you do this, the time you spend with him will be even better. This does not include his addiction to porn, fantasy football and video games. Time alone does have its limits.
10. There really is a lot more that men need. I could go on and on and on. But what you need to know about men first is that they are needy.

25 Ways To Improve Your REALationship

I have been talking about what it takes to have a
Conscious REALationship™?

To experience being in a REALationship™, you have to take action to make it happen.

What would your relationship look like if you focused on improving it?

In a world filled with everyday stressors, "Reality Land", many times we tend to ignore or take our relationship for granted.

If you start taking action to be in a loving & conscious REALationship, each area of your life will start to have positive effect.

Here are 25 ways to improve your REALationship:

1. Remember that you are a Team.
2. Create goals by creating vision together.
3. Have weekly date nights.
4. Ask for what you need. Nobody is a mind reader.
5. Compliment your spouse daily.
6. Send your significant other random, flirtatious text messages or emails.
7. Take care of yourself & your needs.
8. Talk to each other everyday.
9. Find similar interests.
10. Give each other space.
11. Smile and flirt with one another.
12. Watch a favorite TV show together.
13. Don't hold on to past resentments.
14. Be honest.
15. Don't ever make threats that you don't intend to carry out.
16. Cuddle.
17. Forgive.
18. Assign household chores so to share responsibilities.
19. Change yourself instead of trying to change your spouse.
20. Support each others goals.
21. Support each others hobbies.
22. Let them spend time with their friends.
23. Plan for fun trips & activities.
24. Be each others Best Friend - #1.
25. Make Love.

Begin to take action today!

4 Steps To Love Your Love Life

How is your love life? If your answer is anything but, "It is fabulous! Thanks for asking," then read on.

It's easy to become caught up in our daily schedules that we often forget about the person that we are supposed to love First & Foremost - Ourselves.

In neglecting ourselves, one issue that comes up most often is a negative body image.

You might be saying, "My boobs are sagging to my knees, I'm all mush in the middle, and I jiggle all over. Why would anyone want to have sex with me?"

When we feel unattractive and uncomfortable in our own bodies, we are totally disconnected from ourselves.

I know that I say this often, but it bears repeating:
If you don't love yourself first,
then how can you possibly love someone else?

So, if you think that you are no longer attractive and too self-conscious to get naked - well then its time to get your Sexy Back.

1. I want for you to go to a mirror and take if off. Take it all off! Declare your Sexy! Run your hands over every inch and curve of your body. All you have is right now, this moment.

Those parts of your body that seem most soft are the ones that are going to feel most sensual to your lover's fingertips.

2. Create a Sensual Bubble Bath. Some orange oil with slices of lemon and orange peel floating in the bath will be just what the Love Doctor ordered! Or perhaps some rose petals will be your delight. Essential oils are very concentrated so a couple drops will be enough to fill the whole room.

3. Put something sexy on. No, it doesn't mean that you have to put on some spiky heels and a skimpy thong (unless you want to). I don't know a better way to feel sexy than to dress in an outfit that makes you feel beautiful. So, take off that oversized t-shirt and baggy pants and put on an outfit that will WOW even you.

4. And finally, get physical. Studies show that exercise alone can improve body image, even if you aren't loosing inches. So, go out and take a walk or a yoga class- anything that will get you moving.

Once you take off those clothes and love every inch of you, take a sensual bubble bath, dress sexily and get physical, you are well on your way to getting your Sexy Back and Loving the most important person in your love life - YOU!

And when YOU feel sexy, and believe that you're sexy...well, then any suitor will be thrilled to be in your presence.