Tuesday, June 17, 2008
There are a few stages to love.
The first, and by far the favorite, is The Honeymoon Stage
- or what I call the La La Land Stage - we all know about.
Beginning a new love relationship is like entering the gates of a Secret
Garden. It’s a place where a caterpillar creates its cocoon for the butterfly
to escape its chrysalis and flutter around in your stomach. Falling in
love feels like ecstasy. The bee’s wings, in frenetic motion, cause a
buzzing sound in your ear. Life instantly begins to have meaning. Two
birds in flight soar into the clouds. Your heart beats faster. Entangled
and entwined. You are floating on air, and your possibilities seem endless.
You experience a sense of vitality that you never felt before. The
love you feel sparks a flame deep within your unconscious. Supplies of
• And other neurotransmitters
are at high levels.
Then you come crashing back to earth.
You know your ABC’s and the birds and the bees.
Its love in La La Land.
We long for love in La La Land. This began when we were little
children and discovered stories, myths, songs, books, poems, movies,
television, and their fairy tales within. It permeates our world.
I know that it does to me. I can’t count how many times I have lived in La La Land, thinking that HE was the one.
He was! He was the one to BREAK MY HEART!
As I see it, La La Land is WAY LESS important
than Reality Land because that’s where
the REALationship starts and begins to thrive.
This false idea of love ignores the groundwork that relationships require.
Unfortunately, a majority of relationships start falling apart or end once the La La Land stage is over and Sleeping Beauty Awakes and finds that her Prince Charming is not so Charming after all.
Have YOU ever experienced this La La Land to Reality Land transition?
How did you deal with it?
The first reality that I see is that there is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship
(except in romance novels or fairytales).
The perfect guy or girl is a delusion.
The truth is that your relationship was perfect in the sense
that you chose to be there and there are lessons to be learned. You might
not have been able to learn these lessons without the relationship.
Once you step out of false hope and unrealistic fantasies into Reality
Land, it can feel like a tough place to be in at first. But, the truth is that,
only when you look at yourself and your relationship from the Reality
Land perspective do you give yourself the opportunity for growth.