4 Steps To Love Your Love Life

How is your love life? If your answer is anything but, "It is fabulous! Thanks for asking," then read on.

It's easy to become caught up in our daily schedules that we often forget about the person that we are supposed to love First & Foremost - Ourselves.

In neglecting ourselves, one issue that comes up most often is a negative body image.

You might be saying, "My boobs are sagging to my knees, I'm all mush in the middle, and I jiggle all over. Why would anyone want to have sex with me?"

When we feel unattractive and uncomfortable in our own bodies, we are totally disconnected from ourselves.

I know that I say this often, but it bears repeating:
If you don't love yourself first,
then how can you possibly love someone else?

So, if you think that you are no longer attractive and too self-conscious to get naked - well then its time to get your Sexy Back.

1. I want for you to go to a mirror and take if off. Take it all off! Declare your Sexy! Run your hands over every inch and curve of your body. All you have is right now, this moment.

Those parts of your body that seem most soft are the ones that are going to feel most sensual to your lover's fingertips.

2. Create a Sensual Bubble Bath. Some orange oil with slices of lemon and orange peel floating in the bath will be just what the Love Doctor ordered! Or perhaps some rose petals will be your delight. Essential oils are very concentrated so a couple drops will be enough to fill the whole room.

3. Put something sexy on. No, it doesn't mean that you have to put on some spiky heels and a skimpy thong (unless you want to). I don't know a better way to feel sexy than to dress in an outfit that makes you feel beautiful. So, take off that oversized t-shirt and baggy pants and put on an outfit that will WOW even you.

4. And finally, get physical. Studies show that exercise alone can improve body image, even if you aren't loosing inches. So, go out and take a walk or a yoga class- anything that will get you moving.

Once you take off those clothes and love every inch of you, take a sensual bubble bath, dress sexily and get physical, you are well on your way to getting your Sexy Back and Loving the most important person in your love life - YOU!

And when YOU feel sexy, and believe that you're sexy...well, then any suitor will be thrilled to be in your presence.

What You Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships

Most women have loved and lost. They have traveled that road of learning about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way - by taking way too many detours.

Along they way they experience a broken heart (many more times than one), emotional scars, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights.

I know that I have!

What if I told you that there is an easier path to finding your one?

Well, that is exactly what I am going to tell you.

There is an easier path for you to travel in finding your one!

Here are some love nuggets of wisdom sure to put you on your road to true love much quicker. Share these life-saving truths with every woman you know. They will forever thank you!

1. Love yourself first. How can you possibly love anyone else if you don't love yourself? If you don't have self-love then don't put yourself on the market.

2. Listen to your intuition. Intuition is that burning sensation in your stomach that tells you your truth and nothing but the truth. Next time you are out on a date or in a relationship, listen to your gut feeling. Don't stay with someone simply because you don't think that you are worthy of finding love again.

3. There are two types of men: Trustworthy men and untrustworthy men. Don't date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two!

4. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and support you spiritually, mentally and physically.

5. Wait until you are in a committed relationship to have sex.
Men love to treat sex as a sport. Never allow yourself to become their next touchdown.

6. Listen to what he is telling you. If he says that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship, it means just that - he's not ready to be in a committed relationship. If he doesn't fit - don't force him, just relax and let him go. When you close one door a new one always opens. No matter how cliché it sounds, it's the truth.

7. Stop dating emotionally detached, commitment phobic males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players today.

8. Stop thinking that if you move in with him then he will pop the question. Don't take the chances.

9. Your beauty, sexy body, cooking skills, smarts, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER! The only person who can change him is his want and desire to do so himself.

10. Do not stay with a man if he: promises to call you but doesn't, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions, and flirts with other women in front of you. These actions show that DOES NOT value you. You can do better than that.

11. There is a huge difference between sex and love. If you fail to recognize this then you are heading for another detour. Why waste your time.

12. Know that your man is out there looking for you too! After all, men are hunters. Don't waste your time with another man that isn't right for you.

30 Of The Best Places To Meet Men

You might be asking, "Where are all of the single fish in the sea?'

One of the Greatest Relationship Secrets that you must know now is: EVERYWHERE!

One of the greatest relationship myths is that "All the good guys are taken."

In fact, the fact is that 44% of adult Americans are single, which means there are over 100 million unattached men and women. So, there have got to be some good - even GREAT - men out there.

So, the burning question on your lips right now is, "Where do I find these men?"

The answer is - OUTSIDE!

Yes, I said OUTSIDE. And, he's looking for you.

That means he's not in your home, hiding under your bed. And, he probably won't be the mailman knocking on your door tomorrow morning. He's out in the world, living his life, hunting for you.

That means that you need to start going out and about if you want to find your man.

As you probably know, attracting a relationship can be enjoyable but sometimes challenging. That's why, if you want to attract the relationship that you want and deserve, you have to go where people gather.

But, before you start your quest you must know these 2 things:

1. What kind of a mate do you want to attract in your life? Write a list and be specific.

2. What hobbies do you enjoy? What hobbies do you want your mate to enjoy?

Write these things down and then begin to take on the perspective of men are everywhere. Remember the song "It's raining men! Hallelujah!" Well, sing it and believe it.

After all, it's all about perspective.

If you believe that all of the good men are taken. Then, you will attract all of the good men who are taken. If you know that there are plenty of single, great fish in the sea, then that's what you will attract.

Which perspective would you like to try on?

If you are ready to go out and attract the relationship that you want and deserve, I have scouted 30 of the top locations men can be found.

The Internet
Volunteering
The Apple store
A Fortune 500 or tech company
The weight room in the gym
A political rally or campaign
Sports Bar on a Sunday or Monday night
A volleyball league
A rock-climbing center
A steak house
Seminars
Business conferences
Baseball Diamonds
Restaurant Bar
Hotel Lounge
Polo Games
Golf Tournaments
Networking Events
Home Depot/Lowes
Singles groups
Grocery Store
Gas Station
Gallery Openings
Book Store
Best Buy
Airport
Work Functions
The Mall
Museums
The Beach

And the list goes on...

Do you get my drift? Men are everywhere.

There are many great men looking to attract the women of their dreams. I suggest that you go fishing and catch your mate.

Relationhips Mirror Who We Are

Do you find yourself in relationships where people treat you poorly? Do you find yourself attracting mates who don't commit? Do you feel like you keep attracting "the unhealthy ones" in your life?

Does this seem to happen over and over again, now matter how nice and loving you are?

You might be wondering why this keeps happening to YOU!

Do you want to shift your thinking form bad things are being done to you to having a new understanding about yourself?

If you answered yes then keep reading.

Our relationships with other people, particularly romantic ones,
are mirror reflections of us in so many ways. And, mirrors speak nothing but truth.

Know and remember this: each and every person you allow to enter your life is a mirror reflection of something in you. Therefore, they are a gift. This is a gift for you to understand and get to know more parts of yourself.

The way we relate to others is the way we relate to ourselves. For example, if you have something to say about another in positive or negative terms, one of your fingers pointing at them is three of your fingers pointing back at yourself. You are projecting something within you onto them. The challenge is to find out what those projections are.

The dramas that we have in relationships in the external world are the dramas that we have within ourselves.

If you have the courage to look deep enough within yourself, the flaws that you see in him are flaws that are in you as well. They might not be directly the same behavior or action, but they are in you somehow.

For example, if your ex is an alcoholic, or his drinking bothered you, does not mean that you are a drunk. However, if you were to look deeper at this, you would ask yourself, "Why would I allow myself to attract this type of a person into my life? What is it from my past?" (i.e. were my grandparents or parents alcoholics?) There can be many different answers to this question.

Or, if you find that people are consistently criticizing you, are non-committal, and judgmental, rather than blaming the other and being a victim, ask yourself, "In what ways am I non-committal, criticizing and judgmental?

When you don't like certain qualities in another begin to question yourself.

You'll start to notice how much of what's happening with others reflects what's happening in your own relationship with yourself.

It is important for you not to blame others for how the "treat you." If you take back any projections that you might be having on another, and take responsibility for YOU! Begin to look at your own relationship with yourself.

You can begin to transform. Change within can happen.

Are All Men Jerks?

Are you at the point in your life where you say to yourself,

"All Men Are Jerks!"


One of the things that I hear my women clients (and gay male friends) say over and over again when they first come to me is:

"Where have all of the good men gone?"
All of the good guys are taken!"


Do you have a history of dating the same "Mr. Wrongs" over and over again?

Do you seem to repeat the same issues in relationships time and time again?

If so, then it's easy to believe that ALL MEN ARE JERKS.

The truth is that all men are NOT TAKEN and NOT EVERY ONE IS A JERK.

Of course there are some situations where the man is not on his "best behavior." So, why were you with him in the first place? And even more importantly - why did you stay?

The question for you is: what are you doing in your relationships that attract the same men and situations over and over again? What is it in you that you need to heal?

See, it's not all about him and what he is doing or has done.

IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

Thinking that all men are jerks is a limiting belief on love.

More limiting beliefs about love are:

All men cheat. They can't be trusted.
All good men are taken/married.
I don't deserve love.
There is no love for me.
I am unlovable.
I don't deserve to be loved.
Love doesn't really exist or last.
Who would want me? I'm too old, fat, unattractive...
I'm too busy to date.
Love is pain, so I don't want it

I suggest that you change your negative thinking and know that there are great guys (and girls) out there. Shift your Limited Beliefs on love to Unlimited Beliefs about the Abundance of love.

A few common examples are:

There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.
There are many available men.
I deserve love.
I have so much to offer a mate!
Men are constantly asking me out on a date.
It's never too late for love.
There is such thing as love and I embrace it in my life.
There is enough time in the day for me to date.
Love is joyful because I get to grow and become more of my best self.
I create love in my life everyday.
I am always connected to a power that is greater than me (whatever it is me) to attract me to the relationship of my highest & best good.

Now it's your turn.

What are your new Unlimiting Beliefs about the Abundance of love?

So, the answer to the first question is:

The good men have gone nowhere.
Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not.

It's that time of the year again - February - the month of romance and Valentine's Day - and another Hallmark moment (It's the second largest capitalistic gift giving holiday of the year).

For some of you, your rooms will be filled with sweet tart hearts, See's candies, and bouquets of flowers. You are in love, and will be exchanging cards that say, "Will you be mine?"

For others it's a lonely day and a lonely night while watching the lovebirds in their La La Land. For you, the fact that people actually buy into this contrived, manmade, multibillion-dollar holiday is silly at best.

Nonetheless, for most of you, there is probably somewhere, deep down inside of you, a glimmer of hope that cupid will take his bow and shoot you with his arrow that will cause you to fall in love.

Whatever the case may be,
just remember to always love yourself.

Here are some of the Valentine's Day questions I have received from my readers:

?
Ever since I was a kid, I felt forced into Valentine's Day, and forced into expressing love in a way that I'm not ready to. This occasion ruins the natural process of love. It's a complete set up, which I think was created by the female of the species. I care about my current girlfriend; but with Valentines Day right around the corner, I'm put into this position once again. I don't know how to express myself, or what to give her. I even have the thought of breaking up with her before the holiday and then getting back together with her afterwards. But, I know that this is not right. What should I do?


Eris Suggests:

It's a good thing that you know that breaking up to avoid the pressures of Valentine's Day isn't a healthy thing to do. I suggest that you talk to your girlfriend and explain to her the pressure that you feel around Valentine's Day. Give her the chance to express herself with you as well. As far as a gift, be creative - come up with something simple and appropriate. Or, come up with something together that feels comfortable for both of you. I suggest that you do not force yourself into saying anything that you do not want to say. Valentines day does not have to be such a pressure filled holiday nor does it have to become a bank account buster.

FYI - Although many women do get excited to celebrate Valentines Day with the person that they love, women did not create it. It was traditionally dedicated to two ancient male martyrs named Valentine.


?
Valentines Day is right around the corner AGAIN and I'm starting to freak out. I generally get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness around February. And, to top it off, I'm surround by women at work. Most of them are already getting cards, gifts, flowers, etc. And I won't - unless I send them to myself. Should I send myself flowers to escape the embarrassment or should I call in sick on Valentine's Day?

Eris suggests:

The fact is that everywhere you look in February is images of couples kissing, candy, hearts, and love, love, love. It is a shame that people who are not in a relationship are made to feel bad on Valentines Day.

To make matters worse, if you are already feeling alone, then this day can trigger all sorts of difficult feelings and emotions.

However, all of this hype can trick you into putting just as much focus on this holiday as society does. This can be unwarranted as well as unhealthy. I suggest that you change your perception of this day. Its just another day, and not being in a relationship right now is not the end of the world. Don't get down on yourself for that.

You first need to be in a relationship with yourself, empower yourself, and fall in love with you. There can't possibly be a better time to do this than right now. Self worth comes from you, not from anyone else. Take contrary action on Valentines Day and have a date with you, yourself, and YOU. Take yourself to the movies, go on a nice hike, go shopping (Just don't get yourself into debt). You can also enjoy the day with a friend. Or, have your very own Valentine's Day Party. As Oscar Wilde said, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

I get many e-mails surrounding Valentine's Day break-ups. This does not surprise me being that this holiday revolves around equating love - finding the dollar figure that says, "I love you," in just the "right amount." The rest of the year, we show each other how much we love by the little things, how we listen, how we act. But on this day, its pre planned, pre packaged, pre marketed, pre sold, pre bought, and pre consumed.

But lets not remove February 14th from our calendars.

Lets just remember what its for - EXPRESSING LOVE.

Do You Want To Heal Your Broken Heart?

For Anyone Who's Ever Gone Through a Relationship Breakup or Divorce...

How To Stop Your Pain, Let Go Of The Past and Heal Your Broken Heart After A Relationship Breakup or Divorce...



Do you want to know the 7 most important things to do to get over a break-up or divorce?

Join me on this FREE Teleseminar: "7 Simple Steps to heal your broken heart and begin to date."

TONIGHT
6pm Pacific Time
9pm Eastern Time
If you cannot attend, register anyway and you will receive the audio recording call.

Go To http://web.me.com/erisdreams/FreeTeleseminar/Free.html

If you're like everyone else who's been through a relationship breakup or divorce, you know that the pain of a breakup or divorce (especially one you didn't want) can be excruciating!

The trouble for many people after their breakup or divorce is that this pain can be so unbearable that without realizing it, they unknowingly do some things that delay the process in healing their pain. They actually stay stuck in that pain, sometimes forever.

Sometimes, even when you think that you have dealt with the pain of the breakup or divorce and put your past relationship behind you, there's still more healing work to be done. You just didn't realize it.

Even worse, more often then not, when you don't deal with the pain, you attract the same mate over and over again!

The good news is:
Your Break-UP doesn't mean your life is over.
It means its about to begin!

Do you want to heal your broken heart?

If you answered YES then you don't want to miss this call.

On this FREE call you will be given the opportunity to begin to heal your broken heart so that you can move forward and find the love that you want and deserve.

Join me in this FREE Teleseminar so that you can learn the 7 most important things to do to get over a break-up or divorce.

The "7 Simple Steps to heal your broken heart and begin to date" Teleseminar is absolutely FREE to attend.

When you confirm your registration, you will receive an e-mail with the call-in number and other information.

The teleseminar will take place TONIGHT at 6pm Pacific Time & 9pm Eastern Time. If you are not able to attend at that time register anyway and you will receive access to the audio recording of the teleseminar.

http://web.me.com/erisdreams/FreeTeleseminar/Free.html

As you well know, I am the author of the books, Break-Up Emergency. A Guide To Transform Your Break UP Into A Break THROUGH, and the E-Book Break UP, Break THROUGH and BEYOND. In 7 Simple Steps. And contributing author in the Amazon.com #1 Best Sellar, Thank God I... Stories of Inspiration for Every Situation (my story is Thank God my Boyfriends Dumped Me).

That being said, you know I am an expert on healing broken hearts.

I have helped myself heal my broken heart and find a relationship with a man who not only nurtures me, but guides me into becoming the best woman I can be.

I have helped men and women all over the world heal their broken hearts and find relationships that they want and deserve.

Now, I would like to help you.