Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Are You Exhausted?

Are you Exhausted?

Then, your prescription, which should be implemented immediately, is to:

Spend some time alone with me, myself, and I.

"There is only one journey. Going inside yourself."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Do you crave spending time alone or avoid it? [ ] Crave it [ ] Avoid it

Your alarm clock awakens you at 6am so that you can get to the office by 8am, bumper to bumper traffic, endless errands to run, cell phones ringing, text messages in your inbox, facebook, twitter, phone calls to return, faxes coming in, emails to write and respond to, back to back meetings at work, hardly a moment to eat a healthy meal at lunchtime, dinner meetings and functions to attend, weekends filled with friends, dinner parties, birthdays, weddings, and catching up to do, the next holiday to plan for, and by the time evening rolls around, its grabbing something quick and easy to eat, crashing your head against the pillow, hoping for a good nights rest, all for the next day to be a repeat of the day before.

Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.

"We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time
and no imagination left for being.
As a result, men are valued not for what they are
but for what they do or what they have-for their usefulness."
- Thomas Merton

The amount of time that Americans spend at work continues to relentlessly increase. We live in a society where fast food becomes our meals and where supermarkets, drugstores, and gas stations are open 24 hours a day, 365 (366 in leap years) days a year. Where else but in America can you buy a stereo at 4:30 in the morning if you want to? Therefore, there is little time for self, which is of utmost importance.

Being alone is the hardest thing that a person can do comfortably because they have no one to judge but themselves. When you are alone you do not have the luxury of blaming someone else because there is no one else there. Many people confuse being alone with feeling alone or loneliness. Many times people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are afraid of being alone. Many people avoid being alone because they don't want to be left alone with all that will surface - their thoughts, their fears, and their insecurities. So instead, they fill their schedule with more work, more errands, and more time with friends and family. However, it is in being alone that you get the opportunity to face all of your insecurities and deal with them. It is in spending time alone that you get the chance to get to know yourself. The most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.

Many people ask the question, "Why do I need to spend time alone?" This is an excellent question. I believe that it is essential for your growth and well being to spend time alone. People need to reflect on their lives, their day, how their emotions are affecting their day and others, how they are feeling, and for them to engage in what they enjoy doing. It is our time and chance that we get to focus on who we are as individuals.

NOTE: There are those people who end up spending too much time alone, while avoiding the world around them. I suggest that you be careful of not spending too much time alone. Being a hermit is not healthy and is the opposite extreme of not spending any time alone. Your relationships with people are what help you grow.

If you don't fall in the hermit category, for some time now, you have given up your alone time to be in a relationship, spend time with family & friends, and to work, work, and more work. Unfortunately, too often we give up our individuality to others. This can be the time for you to reclaim yours.

Reevaluate what you like to do. You do not have to be afraid of this. Embrace it. If you are uncomfortable with spending time by yourself, you might want to start off with short spans of time. You might begin with having a quiet cup of tea or coffee in the morning, or take walks by yourself.

I am not suggesting that you run out and join a monastery. However, you might be pleasantly surprised at the things that come to you when you spend time with yourself. It is a time where you can continue and deepen the tools that you have been using so far in the remedies - reflection, visualizing, feeling, and becoming self-aware. This is when you can create an opportunity to go within yourself and acknowledge even more about yourself, and change your old patterns.

"I love to shop after a relationship. I don't know.
I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."Rita Rudner

Spending time along does not mean that you have to be serious. I suggest that you have fun with you. It is a time where you can celebrate you and what you enjoy. There are many ways to take care of your mind, body and spirit. By experimenting, you can open new doors to creativity and your beauty. You don't have to be shy to do some external changes on yourself as well. Be creative with your outer beauty. We all need to do this at times. It's OK to express your external self in whatever way fits you. It is perfectly wonderful to pamper yourself, just as long as you remember that the external will not fix the internal.

"I don't believe makeup and the right hairstyle
alone can make a woman beautiful.
The most radiant woman in the room is the one full of life and experience." Sharon Stone

Top Ten List of doing things alone:

1. Pamper yourself with a day at the spa. Get a massage, facial, steam, sauna, and spend some time in the hot tub.
2. Make a CD or playlist with your favorite songs.
3. Beautify yourself. Get a new haircut. Change your hair color. Paint your toes and nails.
4. Take long walks, hike, run, go to the gym, go to yoga, or ride your bike that has been sitting in your garage for years.
5. Travel. Take a day trip, or mini vacation to a place you have always wanted to go and haven't.
6. Plan an outing. Go to the movies, go shopping, go to the music store and listen to some new or old CD's.
7. Relax. Read a book, take a nap, rent some old movies, take a long bubble bath by candlelight, hot oil your hair, and do a
mud mask.
8. Spend the evening alone and make yourself a nice meal or order in.
9. Be an artist. Paint, draw, color, or make a collage.
10. Meditate.

Now go and spend some time Alone with Me, Mysef and I!