Sunday, May 11, 2008

Is Love A Game?

Do people play games while dating and in Relationships? DUH!

Welcome to the Game of LIFE!

The real question is:
What are these games and how do we avoid them?

In the game of LIFE, we all have to play games to enhance our position - to move forward on the board and ultimately survive/win.

One of the first games I played as a girl was:
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.
But soon I learned how to precount the pedals on the flower to work in my favor.

Since that game grew boring quickly, I moved on to Kiss and Tell, which is not really a game but it's where I kissed a boy in secret and then proceeded to tell as many friends as I possibly could. End result: It gets back to him. He knows he didn't tell anybody. And even if he did, and I did, I wouldn't trust him. End of relationship before it even gets started.

Leading us to: Truth via Truth Or Dare. This is where it gets a little more interesting. When played with people you are attracted to, it gives you the chance to learn something about them that you didn't know - if they're truly telling the truth. Frankly, its a little too time consuming for my taste. All that "truth" getting in the way of the dare (kissing).

If you ask me, I prefer a quick game Spin the Bottle. Only problem is, the bottle never landed on the boy I wanted to kiss. YUCK.

Then as I got older the game changed: The Dating Game. "The Rules" became much more subtle and complex.

* Now, if I wanted a kiss a guy, it couldn't be on a first date.
* If I wanted to go out with him, I couldn't accept a date past Wednesday for Saturday.
* Don't see him more than once or twice a week.
* Always be the first to hang up the phone.
* Stop dating him if he doesn't buy a romantic gift for you on Valentine's Day or your Birthday.
* Don't live with him or leave your things at his place.

UGH, and the worst was when he didn't call for 3 days after he got my number.

Don't pass go. Don't collect your 200 dollars. Rules. Rules. Rules. Blah, Blah, Blah.

Talk about getting a headache. Ah, but that's a whole other game (you know - I gotta hang up because I have a headache).

What games do you play?
Even better, what games are played on you?

Then you get to even more adult games. Lets call it the game of Tit-For-Tat (which Clayton and I are grand masters of).

The game of tit-for-tat has its positives and negatives. It forces conflict as well as fostering cooperation.

Example: Sometimes Clayton tells a story that I can't bear to hear: ONE MORE TIME! So, then I tell a story that he doesn't like me to share, which causes and inevitable stalemate. We finally both retire these stories from our conversational repertoire.

A friend of mine gets so upset because her partner never chips in wash the dishes. So, she in turn, stops washing dishes until the sink piles up and there is not a clean dish left. Finally he forces himself to the sink and with a rag and not so much JOY and washes away their conflict.
Tit- for-tat. The status quo is once again.

The Rules of Engagement. This is a whole other bag of rice. The rules in the marriage process become so intricate that you'll have to wait to read our next books.

One thing I can tell you is that communicating what you perceive your rules to be and coming to a mutual understanding with your mate is a good start to the game.

Speaking of games: Clayton is sitting next to right now. While we are writing he is kissing my cheek, telling me how much he loves me.
Is that a game?
And if so, what game does he want to play?

Gotta GO...