Sunday, May 4, 2008

Distance vs. D-I-S-T-A-N-C-E

Why is it that they say
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

I just traveled 284 miles (568 round trip) for 3 glorious days in Vegas.

Most people think of guys when
it comes to Vegas getaways.

But, what happens in Vegas doesn't always have to stay in Vegas. For me its not about the gambling and the strip clubs. It's about fun, food and relaxation. My mom lives there. So, its my perfect getaway.

Its not exactly that I need to get away from Clayton per se, it's just nice to have a break.

Do you ever feel that you need
a break from your mate?

I think Couples should practice spending time apart. It gives you down time. It gives you time to think and reflect on yourself.

Absence can make the heart grow fonder,
but it can also give you a sense of
your own beauty and strength.

Some people think that being together all the time is healthy, but it can be smothering at times. This isn't good because you can lose your identity. You must keep your individuality in a relationship. Both mates should be able to stand on their own two feet - not on each others.

You shouldn't be afraid of that person's absence or that he or she will cheat. If a person is going to cheat, he or she will do it regardless. If you're afraid of this happening, you shouldn't be with that person anyway.

S-e-p-a-r-a-t-i-o-n gives you time to reflect on that person from a distance. It's not that Clayton and I didn't talk to each other when I was gone - we did. But, the distance gave us a sense of s-p-a-c-e. Without space in a relationship the relationship can become stifling and overbearing. This can happen in any relationship - even a healthy one.

When absence has truly made the heart grow fonder we experience a reconnection with our mate. We no longer focus on the pety or mundane that gets under out skin. We can now focus on the positive qualities of their personality, which allows us to rekindle the love that we have for one another.

FYI - men are often the ones
whose hearts grow fonder in
the absence of a loved one.

Men have a tendency to take a mate for granted when that person is around. But when that person is not around, they will think about those qualities that they miss. The hunger for those qualities grows and grows and grows.

I know this is true when I take a trip away from Clayton. It becomes truly clear that although he has trouble living with me 24-7, he CLEARLY can't live without me 24-7!

Not only did I have fun in the sun, wined and dined by night, and shopped till I dropped - I got to come home to a renewed relationship.