This is a poem that my Fiance's Aunt Ruby read to us over the holidays.
The Author is Unknown but it was submitted by Betty Irvine.
After Christmas
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse,
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist,
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please,"
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And perpared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can
You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip,
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished,'I won't have a cooki--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick,
I won't have hot biscuits, corn bread, or pie,
I'll cunch on a carrot and quietly cry,
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for???
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet.
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